To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.

Trust is one of several social constructs, an element of the social reality. Other constructs, frequently discussed together with trust, are: control, confidence, risk, meaning and power. Trust is naturally attributable to relationships between social actors, both individuals and groups (social systems). Because trust is a social construct, it is valid to discuss whether trust can be trusted i.e. whether social trust operates as expected.

Some trust too easy and some not at all. Some can brush off the uncertainties and risks involved while others can never let go and continue to find it harder and harder to judge the trustworthiness of those around them. But how do we get there? How do we accept the loss of control and put our most prized, most significant and pure and certainly most protected possession in someone else hands? Someone we pray and wish never to lose?

How do you rewire yourself and bring yourself to start dismantling your armour that has kept you so safe and so protected for the longest time? How do you allow someone to simply stumble into your life, your safe haven, and just start start breaking down your walls one brick at a time without allowing fear and panic to rise up in your throat?

How, after being so independent and so perfectly lonely for so long, does one surrender all that and rely on another? How do we know who the right ones are too trust and who are the scamsters looking to take us down another path of hurt and disappointment? How do we open our hearts to the risk and the many things that may go wrong?

How is it that some gain our trust instantaneously and we never measure to what degree that trust could be shattered because we haven't yet considered the risk, while others, we know, right away the risks involved and the loss may be inevitably follow? How is it easier to trust a complete stranger with a comment or a look yet when someone is trying to gain our trust intentionally we shyly hide behind our pride? And my BIGGEST questions of the day is why when we finally do surrender this trust does it get returned in tiny shattered pieces?

No one wants to be damaged or broken. No one wants to be angry, or hurt or scared but life isn't always about getting what we want. Its about adapting and surviving. Its about growth and love and passion and just because someone is a little more freaked out than most doesn't necessarily mean they have or always will be that way it just means they need a little extra patience, a little more understanding and little more love.

Most of my questions, I will never find answers to and my confusion may never disappear and as foolish as it may seem to want so badly to believe that one person can tear down years of resistance and to wish for a fairytale as hard ass as I may be, its all I can do.... is believe.

All I can hope for is that one day someone strong and genuine will bulldoze that wall to the ground and show me that the one I find the hardest to believe in the one thing they will provide and never falter on and that i will never have to rebuild a wall again.....

Till then all I can do is try......

xxx